"Every time I push my comfort zone, the next time becomes easier."
This is what I told my friend/coach/mentor Denis Crean this morning. It's been a big week of training for me. I am at 41,000 yards for the week after just 4 days in the water. I've got one more day, which should take me to about 46,000. Also this week, I've been getting the big kids packed and ready for their first time at sleep-away camp (they leave Sunday…I’ve burned my arms several times ironing labels on individual socks and underwear), and also the kids have had swim/dive meets 5 out of 7 days. The weather has been hot—93-95 with about 1000% humidity in true DC summer fashion. All of this is not good for recovery.
I was up later than expected last night, chatting with friends about an upcoming swim. The 4:45 AM alarm blasted me out of my dreams. I could have turned it off. Could have slept in. All signs pointed to "I deserve a day off". Busy week, not much sleep, HRV a bit down but not as much as expected. Sometimes it's hard to know when to take a day off, and when to keep pushing.
I know I have a lighter week planned next week, so this morning it was "suck it up, buttercup". More than that, though, I thought of my lane-mates. These are my friends, and they rely on me as much as I rely on them. So I threw on my fleece parka (in direct contradiction to my above remarks about DC summer…but my parka eases the transition from bed to pool so I wear it even in July). I fired up the coffeemaker, sucked down a few bananas and drove off into the darkness with the flags from last night's swim meet still on my car.
"There are a million reasons to get out...you just need one reason...
one thing to keep going. You just need to know what that is."
This is what another mentor/friend Jim Loreto told our training group before he went on to set a course record at the 40 Bridges Swim in 2020. 40 Bridges is an incredible 57 mile, double circumnavigation of Manhattan. That is 19 hours, 36 minutes, 47 seconds of nonstop swimming in the Hudson, Harlem and East rivers...both with and against the currents. It goes without saying that this is an unbelievable feat of physical and mental strength and resilience, but unless you’ve swam alone, at night, in a vast body of water…you have no idea. For the record, I have not swum alone at night, but I will.
As I'm learning, though, it's not the event itself that is the accomplishment. It's the what you did to get there. And that brings me back to my first mantra about pushing the comfort levels.
This is something that we, as open water swimmers (or endurance athletes in general, or just pretty much any decent friend/parent/human) must do all the time. Whether it's saying "yes" to volunteering for the steamy July swim meet when you'd rather sit in the stands in the shade, or being room parent yet again, even though you promised your spouse you'd take a year off because he saw how stressed out you got...there are times that you just have to step up. Sometimes it's because nobody else will, and sometimes it's about building resilience and making "next time" just a little easier. It's not comfortable and it's not always fun.
But the "what's on the other side" that makes it important and worthwhile.
So...what IS that reason to keep going? Why DO we push beyond the comfort zone?
For me, it boils down to one word: Community.
I know that swimming alone in the ocean, or a lake, or a river seems about as unlikely of a community sport as one could find, but we are a strong, tightly knit group. There are currently 7 members of my open water group who are training for very long swims. In 2021, members of this WaveOne group will swim the English Channel, the 25k Border Buster in Vermont, or the 20 Bridges swim around Manhattan. (My own Manhattan swim is 8/22). All of us are swimming 30-50k per week, and doing 6-hour long swims every 2-3 weeks.
Ultimately, it will be my own body and my own mental resolve that will get me around Manhattan (the swim is unassisted...which means no wetsuit, no watch, no touching the kayak during my feeds), but the process of getting there is anything but individual.
My reason for pushing on, for not quitting, and for showing up when it sucks is for my team. There are other people in the group with goals and dreams, and I'll be damned if someone was having a low day and was expecting to see me at the pool and I slept in. I'm not willing to let anyone down, and that's my reason to keep going. It’s my community.
I’m trying to set a good example for my kids, and anyone else who wants to be a better person...that sometimes you need to show up even though you are tired, even though you are busy, and even though you don't want to. I might even change that "sometimes" to "always". We are all teachers and we are all students.
Teammate and unreliable do not go together. Unreliable also does not go so well with with parent, friend, family member or spouse. So even though the alarm sucked this morning, I got up. It's a solo sport but I don't care about my own goals or dreams. I'm absolutely, positively, not going to let down my coaches, my teammates, or my friends supporting me.
Next time someone asks you to help, please say yes. The next time will become easier. And then you get to see what’s on the other side.
Love,
Andie
This is a positively lovely sentiment.
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